When I first started the program I wrote about a lady named Rae. It has been a pleasure and a joy getting to know each of the participants in the program and going through the exercise program with them. In particular, watching Rae blossom and grow each week. She is no longer the shy, frail young woman that I described in my earlier blog. In every class I observed her opening up, talking a little more to people around her, speaking up and asking questions, and allowing herself to smile and be happy. Just yesterday, I watched her as she joked and laughed with the instructors and poked fun at another participant in the class - all in good fun, of course.
The program has come to an end with just one more session left. At that session, we will meet once again with the Stanford team to give feedback and celebrate our last session together as a group. This program has been a real eye-opening experience for me. I am not the most outgoing person on the planet and tend to want to keep to myself rather than interact in a group setting. Especially when it comes to cancer and group therapy. I'm not one for sitting in a circle and sharing with others and tend to be much more private. That being said, I have a better understanding now of what connecting as a group can do when you have something like cancer or another matter in common. I've witnessed people grow and change dramatically in just a short period of time. The commonality of the disease that we all share/shared has brought a group of people closer together and created a camaraderie that I would not have imagined, or experienced, otherwise. The experience has given me a lot to reflect upon. We lost one person that started with us to the disease. She just didn't show up a couple of times and when one of the instructors called to check in on her, she was told that this nice lady had passed away. This reminded us of the power of this dreaded disease and that not everyone gets the upper hand on it.
We have our typical class clown who makes us laugh week after week. There is sweet Rae who came out of her shell and now wears a smile, looks and feels stronger and is a joy to be around. A couple of younger women who bring youth, energy and a special beauty into the group. A few of us still young and spunky, but a bit older, gals and an older gentlemen who became very near and dear to my heart and will remain my buddy after this class is over. This gentleman is currently battling his disease and undergoing treatment. Week after week, he pulls himself into the gym and goes through the exercises and hangs tough. I remember how tired I was when going through chemo and that even walking to the corner to get the daily mail almost seemed like to much to handle. This guy is, I'm guessing, in his late 70's and one of the kindest people I have had the pleasure to meet. A true inspiration.
Our instructors are amazing people. They are knowledgeable, compassionate and make everyone feel that they are receiving individual attention and that they care about helping us reach and exceed our goals. It is so funny when we are doing floor exercises and instructed to gently roll up our spine, vertebrae by vertebrae and the instructor leading the group would announce - "except for Cheryl cuz she doesn't roll"! I have a fused spine and everything that I do is straight with no flexibility except in the very low back and at my neck. It got to the point where everyone would look at me when we were asked to do something that required back flexibility and we had some good laughs.
I am now much more open and encourage others to take that leap to become involved with others and not to be afraid of group settings. For me, early on in diagnosis and during my treatments, the process was very difficult for me ... I could not speak out loud about my cancer without breaking down into tears. Now that I am putting the cancer farther and farther behind me, I am able to put a strong voice to it and am no longer frail when it comes to the dreaded topic. In a sense, I was Rae, then and now. We all have to go through our process in our own time. It is a personal and intimate journey for all of us. If we open our minds and hearts we can and will overcome, together.
Thank you Stanford School of Medicine for putting on this wonderful program at no cost to cancer patients and survivors. It is a wonderful and much needed service and very well received. At the end of the 12 week session, I do feel stronger and more flexible. Now I just need to stir up the discipline to keep the momentum going. I am determined.
