Hair 10 months after last chemo.

2 months after last chemo.

10 months after last chemo.

Hair.  I get a lot of questions about hair regrowth after chemo.

The first picture above was taken in March, 2014 (3 months after my last chemo treatment).  The second picture was taken today (10 months post chemo).

As you can see, my hair was just beginning to grow back in in March.  Today, it is a bit longer and very curly.  My hair is thicker than it was pre-cancer and the curls are new for me as well.  My hair before cancer was very fine and for the most part straight with a slight wave to it.

I have not done much of anything to my hair.  No color, no trims or cuts, nothing as of yet.  I want to see how long I can go with just letting it go natural.  It is so soft and healthy right now that I'm leary of any damage that hair treatments might leave behind.  Until now I did not have to style it at all - just wash, towel dry and run out the door.  Although I have taken to wearing headbands to keep it back but have been too lazy to start blow drying and such.  The one thing that I have done since my new growth began is to rub Rosemary essential oil onto my hair and scalp after washing.  I mix 2 drops of Rosemary with 2 drops of Almond or Jojoba oil and brush through my hair.  I believe the Rosemary promotes hair growth.  I have become very involved with essential oils for many uses and have all but removed all toxic personal products and cosmetics from my life.  I do feel much better and healthier having made this choice.

It really has been fun going through the transitions of no hair to new, thicker, curly hair.  We'll see how long I can go before I run screaming into a salon!

Other than new hair, I want to my oncologist today for a regular 3 month check up.  Everything looks great and of course, no sign of cancer.  I told my onco that I really don't think about the cancer any more and I don't have an inkling of fear about it recurring.  She said that she was amazed at my attitude and that it took years for most of her patients to reach that point.  My feeling is that a moment wasted living in fear of cancer returning is a moment that you could be spending being truly happy and enjoying the moment.  Cancer has taken enough of our time, we shall not allow it to take any more.

This is a time of new beginnings, new life and new perspective.  Be healthy and happy and thank you for continuing to follow my story and allowing me to provide information and insight to others.

Triple Negative Breast Cancer - 1 year gone!

I chuckle every time I type the words Triple Negative.  There are way more than three negatives associated with this breast cancer!  Here is a link to the definition and quick information for this diagnosis for those interested...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple-negative_breast_cancer
Now, having gone through it and beat it, I'm finding so many positives to replace those negatives in my life.

Yesterday I celebrated my 1 year cancer free anniversary!  I am thankful for every day and for all of the wonderful people in my life who continue to surround me with love and strength.  My family was and is my rock and anchor.  All of your prayers and words of encouragement helped me beyond words.  Without all of you I would not have been able to get through this past year with the grace and courage that I was able to muster up.  Thank you.

I also wanted to give a shout-out to all of the new friends that I made along my journey.  My life is so much richer for having met all of you.  And always in my heart are the strangers that took a minute out of their day to approach me and give me words of encouragement and share their stories with me.  I was constantly surprised and touched by the folks that would recognize what I was going through and come over to chat, give a hug and tell me that I was going to get through it and that I would be just fine.  Made me cry every time - still does when I think about it.  Never underestimate the power you have to brighten someone's day and take advantage of reaching out when you can.  It really does mean the world to the person you reach out to and they will not soon forget your kindness.

Give compliments freely.
Smile at a stranger.
Engage people in conversation when you can.
Lend a hand when you see that your hand can be used.
Love and be confident within yourself and you will automatically gravitate to the needs of others.

I will leave you with one of my favorite sayings:

Today my gratitude outweighs my expectations.  Today is a very good day.

Close but no Cigar...I mean no Cancer! One year post TNBC diagnosis.

This coming Tuesday will mark one year since I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer.  What a year it has been.  This last week was a stressful, worrisome week because almost to the day of my mammogram/ultrasound testing last year, I found a small hard lump on my right breast, accompanied by some tenderness and swelling in my arm pit.  My heart dropped and I went into instant fear that this was going to happen all over again.  I went to my oncologist to have her take a look at it.  After examination, she determined that yes, there was definitely a hard lump there (about the size of a small pea) but she would not be able to tell what it is without having an ultrasound test done.  I had the ultrasound test yesterday and it was determined to be a cyst - not dangerous!  The doctor who performed the ultrasound said it was most likely an oil cyst and was probably due to the trauma of the surgeries.  The lymph nodes looked fine on the ultrasound, not sure why the swelling and tenderness was there, but that has also cleared up for the most part.  You cannot imagine the relief that I felt when she gave me her diagnosis.  As an aside, the doctor that I saw yesterday for the ultrasound was the same doctor that did my biopsies and gave me the news that I had cancer last year.  It was like reliving a bad dream, almost to the day a year later and the same doctor performing the tests - I was so scared!

The doctor stated that what I felt is what a cancerous tumor feels like.  The only way to determine whether it is cancerous or not is by ultrasound and/or biopsy.  She told me very seriously that if I were to ever again feel something like this, not to assume that it is "just a cyst", but to take it seriously and get in for testing right away.  You don't want to take any chances with stuff like this.  If the lump felt soft - lumpy-bumpy, not so much to worry about.  They say that triple negative has the highest rate of recurrence within the first three years.  I am almost at year one and thankful that I am in the clear.

This was quite a wake-up call for me.  I was beginning to get a little bit lax with slipping a little bit on my healthy eating habits and allowing stress from work and other things creep back into my life.  While I haven't been living in fear of the cancer returning, this close call reminds me to stay on track and not take it for granted that I am cancer-free and that it won't ever return.  I still need to do my part to be as healthy as I can and to live life to the fullest.

OK, Universe, I got it.  You don't need to pop in with these reminders and lessons.  I'm a quick study and I got this!  Thanks for the gentle reminder and for getting me back on track.  I've got things to do and people to take care of.

And...curly chemo curls to try to manage :)

Roswell Park-Led Team Identifies Mechanism of Chemotherapy Resistance in Inflammatory Breast Cancer

More studies and new information surfaces as we move forward to finding a cure for TNBC.  I am so grateful for the research that is being done...

https://www.roswellpark.org/media/news/roswell-park-led-team-identifies-mechanism-chemotherapy-resistance-inflammatory-breast

6 months since last chemo!

OK, not a great picture, but I wanted to show off my new little baby curls that are growing in :)  Tomorrow marks 6 months since my last chemotherapy treatment.  I feel like I have come such a long way from the low-energy, miserable days of chemo where walking to the corner mailbox was more than I could handle.  I am now sprinting up and around my 2 mile, 200+ stairs uphill hike where I do a top of the hill resistance band workout with little effort.  My energy is back to normal and I am feeling great.  I have been feeling pretty darned good for a while now, but noticeably better all of the time.  I attribute my quick comeback to life to figuring out how to regulate my sleeping patterns which were completely screwed up during chemo, along with eating right and getting as much exercise as I can around my work schedule.  I was able to get myself off of all of my prescription meds very soon after my treatments and I believe that also helped in my body being able to get itself back to normal in a timely manner.

I can't stress enough how eating the right foods will allow your body to perform at it's maximum potential.  I start most days with a blend of vegetables and fruits in my nutria-bullet.  A typical breakfast smoothie for me might be a large handful of kale and/or spinach, a carrot, 1/2 stalk of celery, a variety of berries or other fruit (whatever I have on hand), a protein source (yogurt, or protein powder), a small bit of flax seed and water.  All mixed together into an ugly but tasty green smoothie.  I was never the best at getting my daily amounts of fruits and veggies but that has since changed.  I continue to eliminate added sugars from my diet and try to eat mostly fresh, raw and unprocessed foods.  I do however slip from time to time and I do allow myself the occasional dessert - after all, life is for living and not depriving ourselves of every simple pleasure.  And, my occasional evening glass of wine has come back to the table.

Aside from my energy and attempted good eating and exercise habits, I have incorporated a few other changes into my life.  Along my journey I discovered essential oils and the many health benefits that can be attained by using them.  I have incorporated the oils into my health and wellbeing routines and am slowly replacing many household personal products as well as cleaners with healthy natural alternatives.  Creating a healthy environment around myself and my family is very important to me and I understand this even more now that I have been through cancer diagnosis/treatments.

And, finally and probably most important is my mental state and mindset.  Having cancer and the fear of dying from this disease helped give me perspective on many things.  Foremost, I have a much higher tolerance for people and the things that they do without passing immediate judgment.  I know from the heart that everyone has their own opinions and lives their lives the way that they see fit according to their situations - and we don't always know what is really going on with other people.  I think that sometimes we are quick to judge others based on how we feel and that is not really the right thing to do.  I have made great progress in taking things and people more in stride and not letting things that used to bother me get under my skin.  I find myself now smiling and understanding rather than judging.  It's a great feeling and not only benefits the person I am talking with, but myself as I find a renewed energy in being accepting of others.  Life is happier that way.

So, there you have it.  From diagnosis, fear of dying, losing my breasts, having new foobs (fake boobs) built, chemotherapy treatments, hair loss, hair growth - here I stand.  I hope that I can provide strength and hope to those going through what I've just been through.  It is hard.  Really hard.  But you can, with positive thought and forward thinking come out the other side better than you were when you went in.

Believe and take care of yourselves <3

Breast Cancer Surviving/Thriving - Magic Happens!

I just had my four month post chemo appointment with my oncologist and everything is looking just ducky.  All of my blood counts were in the normal range and physical examination went well.  No worries and no concerns.  Great feeling!

Recently, I decided to step outside of my comfort level and venture off on my own to another state to attend a breast cancer survivors retreat.  I had not attended any support groups during my treatments and thought it would be interesting to get together with other women who have gone through breast cancer treatment and see how they were handling things on the other side.  There are so many questions when you are going through treatments, and just as many when you have completed.

I attended the retreat last weekend.  It was put on by the Image Reborn Foundation.  They sponsored a weekend getaway in Park City, Utah for eight women to get together and spend a weekend bonding and being completely pampered.   I remember prior to the trip feeling a little bit apprehensive about the whole thing.  What would it be like?  Would it be fun or awkward?  It ended up being simply magical and just what I needed.  My husband dropped me off at the airport Friday morning and off I went to Utah.  Transportation was provided for me from SLC airport to the retreat site.  Everything was perfectly organized.  I was whisked to the top of the mountain, a ski resort in Park City to the most beautiful home I have ever seen.  It was massive (about 20,000 sq. ft, 21 bathrooms, not sure how many bedrooms and every amenity you can imagine).  I was the first of the eight women to arrive.  I received a tour of the home and was shown to my private bedroom/bathroom and was surprised by an array of gifts left on my bed.

A short while later, the other women began to arrive.  Everyone was shown the house and their rooms and we began to congregate in the great room area of the house.  It was amazing, but all eight of us instantly bonded and it seemed as though we had been good friends for a very long time.  I was surprised at how comfortable and relaxed it all was.  There is something about this disease that bonds those of us who were destined to go through it.  Although we all were diagnosed and treated for breast cancer, everyone's story was very different.  We spent the weekend talking, laughing, eating gourmet meals, doing yoga, getting facials and massages, relaxing in the hot tub and of course, drinking wine in front of the huge fireplace.  It was an experience I won't soon forget.

I met some fabulous women.  I came away with some new friends that I hope to keep in touch with for many years to come, and one special person in particular that I really connected with and already have plans to attend a thriver's cruise early next year with.  The women at the Image Reborn Foundation were the warmest people who made every part of the weekend amazing.  No detail was overlooked.  And last but not least, I cannot get over the generosity of the lovely family that donated their home to all of us to come and stay for the weekend.  The kindness and generosity of people like these never ceases to amaze me.

I came away from the weekend feeling stronger for going out of my comfort zone and doing something different.  I feel enriched by the connections that I made and it did me a world of good to get together with others that knew exactly what I had been through and the challenges that we all faced and continue to face together.  It was an amazing experience and I am grateful to have been able to be a part of it.  Life does go on after cancer and it is a good life indeed.

4 months post chemo and feeling good!

Today marks four months post chemo.  I am feeling pretty darned good and the hair is growing back slowly but surely.  It's truly amazing how the body can repair itself and recover from something so hard and toxic.  As I find myself getting further away from fighting the beast they call cancer, the more I feel for those having to go through what I just experienced.  I have been very brave and did not cry much for myself and my hardships while I was going through it- but today when I was putting together a small care package for a friend who is going through treatments I began to sob.  I picked out my favorite scarf that I would wear when I wanted to dress up and put it in the package for her.  When Guy asked me why I was crying I told him that I thought that I had gone through this battle so that others did not have to.  I so wish that was true.  It hurts my heart to think of others having to lose months out of their lives to fight, well...for their lives.  I hope and pray that we see a cure for cancer in our lifetimes.

Surviving...and other things.

It's been a while since I've posted.  I have returned to work.  'Nuf said!
Life gets busy when you are able to get off the couch and out of the bed.

What's new?

- My hair is growing back - slowly but surely.

- I had the BRCA test done and have received my results.  I tested negative for the BRCA 1 gene and the BRCA 2 gene was not negative or positive, it showed a circumstantial abnormality.  This is a grey area that is inconclusive and the medical experts are frankly not sure what it really means.  In other words, there is a slight abnormality along the gene line for BRCA 2 but there is no evidence that this abnormality caused me to get breast cancer nor do they know if it is a precurser to another type of cancer.  Myself, my husband and daughter have an appointment to talked to an expert genetic counselor at Stanford in August.  We will be able to dive more deeply into the meaning of the results of the test.  More to follow...

- I had a follow up appointment with my oncologist a couple of weeks ago and she was amazed at how well I was doing so shortly after chemo.  My energy level is up and more importantly, my attitude and fears about cancer are well in check.  I HAD cancer, I went through the treatments to ensure that we killed it, and I can now go forward with life without living in daily fear of the dreaded beast.  The only worry is that my white blood cell count was low and we will be monitoring it closely.  It is most likely due to my body recoverying from chemo.

Coincidence, or fate?

I was attending an event an hour from home with my daughter a couple of weeks ago.  I arrived early and decided to go shopping.   While in the store, a women with two small children approached me and whipped off her hat and said, "Look, another person with my same hairstyle!"  We stood there among the racks of clothing and exchanged our recent breast cancer journies.  It turns out that she was diagnosed and ended treatment at exactly the same times as I did.  It is like we are members of a club of sorts - there is recognition and certain connection when you run into fellow cancer victims and survivors that is undeniable.  It always ends in hugs and comforting words.

Once I left the store and arrived at the event with my daughter, I ran into a very dear friend of mine's (who has since passed from pancreatic cancer) daughter.  My friend's daughter confided in me that she had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and was about to begin her journey through this disease.  It tore at my heart to think that after losing both her mother and father to other types of cancer that she now had to fight a battle of her own.  I have every confidence that she will fight and beat this nasty beast and she has a very positive attitude that will undeniably help her through this.  It was just such an oddity to run into her at this random event and to be able to share with her my story and for her to see me on the other side of this, looking and feeling good.  I am proud to be an inspiration to others and to be an example to show that one can go through the treatments and come out the other side to thrive and survive.  My friend's daughter and I both agree that it was not just coincidence that we met that day.  It was meant to be.

I am honored and privileged to help anyone I can get through the hard times and assist where I can.  If my experience can help or change just one life then I say it was well worth going through it.

Saying goodbye to cancer and hello to new beginnings

I just realized that I lost two seasons to cancer.  Fall and Winter 2013 were wholly consumed by the beast.  Life interrupted.  It's kind of like having a house guest for an extended period of time.  You have to acknowledge that the guest is there, paying special attention and doing all things necessary to accommodate your guest.  When the visit begins to linger a bit too long, you become used to the fact that the guest is there all the while growing a bit tired of the visit and longing for the end to come so that you can have your home back.  Cancer was my house guest for about 6 months from diagnosis to surgery, chemotherapy, more surgery and recovery time.  The visit has ended and cancer has gone and after all that we have been through, cancer is not welcome in my home ever again.  I feel blessed that I caught my cancer early and did not delay in my treatment plans.  It could have been much worse and lasted much longer.  Goodbye and good riddance cancer!

Spring is just days away and my favorite season of the year.  New beginnings - how appropriate.  New hair is sprouting on my head like the new greed blades of grass on the hillside behind my house.  A healthy blush is coming back to my cheeks.  This is a time of renewal and strength.  Nature has a way of bouncing back after the harshness of winter has taken its toll.

I have spent the last few months researching and planning on how to move forward and past all that cancer brought to me and my family.  I quickly came to the realization that there was nothing in particular that I did to bring the cancer on.  It was not my fault.  I ate pretty well, exercised regularly and was in general good health.  There was of course some room for improvement and making those improvements is something that I have control of and can focus on now.  I have made some subtle changes in my diet.  I will only buy and eat organic foods that are whole and healthy for me (when available), eliminate added sugars, eat more fresh fruits/vegies/nuts and protein.  I have plans to get in a more formal and regular exercise program along with my usual walking and weekend hikes with my husband.

My initial reaction when I began planning on what changes to make was to be very extreme and restrictive - going overboard on what to and not to eat.  Almost a panic mode of "oh no, I am not getting cancer again!".  It did not take me long to reel myself in and put things in better perspective.  I lived a healthy life before and I will continue.  Some changes are good, but to obsess and worry about every little thing would only cause stress and anxiety where it is not needed.  I had lunch with a dear friend the other day who is a two time breast cancer survivor.  When discussing dietary changes, etc., she turned to me and said, "You are going to live to be 100.  Do you want to live those years happy, or stressed?  Wheat grass may be some people's bag, but yuk...I'm not having it."

The key is, I believe, everything in moderation.  On the whole, eat all of the right things and do my level best to make the right choices.  But when the birthdays come around I will enjoy that piece of cake without worry or angst.  The occasional glass of wine that I enjoy is not going to kill me.  The stress of worrying about whether or not to drink it just might.

Hello new beginnings.  Welcome.  I look forward to a bright future together <3

2 weeks post reconstructive surgery...and, acupuncture.

Today marks two weeks since my reconstructive surgery.  Everything is healing well.  The top half of my body feels pretty good.  My legs on the other hand are still very sore where the fat was harvested from.  Ouch!  I'm still stuck wearing compression garments on the legs for another week, day and night.  I'll be so happy to rid myself of these garments - I picture myself busting into a rousing rendition of the song "Freedom" (think Aretha Franklin).

In the past week I had my first acupuncture session.  It was an interesting experience.  The focus of the first session was primarily on hot flashes, insomnia and general well-being.   The needles were placed in my legs and feet - from the knee down - and in my arms - from the elbows down.  I did not feel most of the needles going in, but there were a couple that I really felt - although once in, the sensation subsided rapidly.  Once the needles were in place, I was left in a relaxing, dark room with meditation music playing in the background.  I think I actually fell asleep during the 30 minutes that I lie there.  The needles were then removed - painlessly.  That night, my insomnia was actually worse and I had terrible hot flashes and night sweats.  I called the acupuncturist the next day and she said that this was not uncommon in that it sometimes takes a few sessions for the body to open up and respond to the treatments.  I go back again on Monday.  I will give it a few more sessions and see what happens.

One more week of taking it easy.  Restricted to light walking, no lifting, pushing or pulling.  At three weeks I will be able to begin to do more and I am so very anxious to do so.  I am especially going through hot bath withdrawals as I cannot yet submerse in bath water - restricted to showers only.  Which brings me to:  Detox Bath.

We are surrounded by toxins and chemicals every day.  They are in our drinking water, beauty products, laundry soap and cleaning products, just to name a few.  A detox bath is a great way to help rid our body of toxins and help us to feel healthier and balance the bodies ph.  Here is a good recipe for a detox bath:

2 cups Epsom salts (draws toxins from the body)
1 cup Apple Cider Vinegar (soothes skin and balances ph)
1/2 cup bentonite clay (stimulates lymphatic system to cleanse the skin)
5 -10 drops essential oil (I like lavender)

Soak for 20 minutes.  Drink plenty of water afterwards.

Enjoy!

1 week post-op reconstruction surgery

Today marks one week since my reconstruction surgery.  I had my drains removed yesterday and everything looks like it is healing well.  I am still very bruised and pretty sore in the chest area.  My legs are still a bit swollen and very sore where the fat was removed.  For those people thinking of having elective lipsosuction - don't!  It hurts like H*!!.  I am still moving around a bit slowly but feeling better and stronger every day.  I am now permitted to do light walking - so, that's just what I'll do.

I have to continue wearing spanx-like compression garments for the next 2 weeks in order for the skin on the thighs to heal properly.  Kind of a pain because I have to wear it day and night - but it's not that bad all things considered.

I'm looking forward to next week when I'll be able to do just a little bit more.  I will re-start my weekly healing touch sessions and have my first acupuncture session next Thursday.  I'm hoping that the acupuncture will help with my back pain and overall good health.  I've never done it before, so I look forward to seeing how it might work for me.

Other than that, recovery is going well - pretty uneventful and the results seem pretty good at this point.  I'll be so happy to get this behind me so that I can concentrate fully on my daughter's wedding planning which is going quite well also.

Life is good!

Reconstruction Recovery

The surgery went well on Thursday.  Everything went smoothly and according to plan.  I received a nerve block so that I would not feel anything in my chest area, was anesthetized and slept comfortably through the whole procedure.  It is now Saturday, so I am 2 days out of surgery.  I am feeling much better than I thought I would.  The pain is not very bad at all and very controllable with the pain meds that were prescribed for me.  My legs are pretty sore where the fat was removed and there is a bit of swelling, but it is tolerable.  The chest area not too bad at all - some swelling and just a bit sore.  I have a drain on each side which I believe will come out on Monday.

For the first 10 days I am supposed to be taking it very easy.  Just walking around the house but not much more than that.  At 10 days I can begin light walking, at 3 weeks I can begin light exercise at at 6 weeks no restrictions.  I have to wear spanx 24 hours a day for 3 weeks to keep compression on the legs where the fat was removed.  This will help the area to heal with a smooth appearance and will help to prevent any dented and uneven looking areas.

So, for the next several days, I will be taking it easy and following doctors orders.  I'm hoping for an uneventful recovery and looking forward to moving ahead to healthy and happy days with no more surgeries or medical issues.  God willing.

What a cut up!

Doctor's markings just prior to surgery.  Yikes!

Under Construction! Breast reconstruction expanders/implants exchange tomorrow.

Before I begin this post, I'd like to give fair warning that I do plan to go into some details about tomorrow's surgery.  Some of you may or may not be comfortable with the details - but the purpose of starting this whole blog site for me, aside from keeping family and friends informed of my progress, was to provide information that other women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer can easily find for information/reference.

With that being said...  tomorrow I go in for my 2nd phase of breast reconstruction.  At the time of my double mastectomy I had tissue expanders put in the space where my natural breast tissue was removed.  The purpose of the expanders is to fill the pocket and basically act as a place holder for breast implants to be put in once the tissue has been stretched and can hold the implant.  When the doctor initially put in the expanders, they were filled with a small amount of saline solution to begin the process.  Over the past 5 months I have had two expansions where the doctor injected more saline solution into the expanders to stretch the skin out enough to hold the implant.  The doctors will typically wait until all chemotherapy and radiation (if any is needed) before performing the 2nd phase where the expanders are swapped out for breast implants.  This is where I am now.

This afternoon I will head to the doctor for my markings prior to surgery.  He will draw onto my body the diagrams of where he will be cutting, etc.  Tomorrow morning I go in about 2 hours prior to the scheduled surgery time to be prepped (I.V.'s, pain meds, etc.).  The surgery is expected to take about 4.5 hours to complete and will be done in an out-patient surgery center.  This operation does not require hospitalization.  The surgery that I am undergoing is removal of the tissue expanders, breast implants with tissue matrix material inserted and some fat transfer from my thigh area to the breast area.  The reason for the fat transfer is because with no natural breast tissue, there is not any excess tissue mass to make the breast implants appear as natural as they possibly can.  Therefore, removing fat from another part of the body and injecting it around the implants gives a softer, more natural appearance (along with the tissue matrix material that will also surround the implant).

After being prepped and put to sleep, the doctor will begin the liposuction to remove the fat from both my inner and outer thighs.  The fat is then processed in some way - which I understand takes a good deal of time - to reduce it down to the good fat cells that have the best chance of surviving the transfer.  The fat that takes is permanent once injected.  While waiting for the fat to process appropriately, the doctor will finish suturing/dressing the wounds on the legs and will then begin the operation on the breasts.  The tissue expanders will be removed.  The doctor may have to do a little work to enlarge or reduce the pocket size that the implant will be placed in.  The dermal tissue matrix is then sewn into place and the implant inserted.  The breast area will then be sutured and then the fat gets injected around the breasts as the doctor deems necessary to create a natural look.  Everything is then dressed and bound - and after recovery time I will be able to go home.

The recovery for this surgery is anywhere from 4-6 weeks total.  I will have to wear special compression garments for the legs for 3 weeks as I recover from that part of the surgery.  I will be able to do light walking after 10 days, floor exercises after 3 weeks and no restrictions at all at 6 weeks.

I've been told that there will be a significant amount of discomfort, mostly from the liposuction, and have been given pain medications to help control this.  I am anxious to get all of this behind me and am not looking forward to more recovery time as I am feeling so good at this point of being past chemo.  I have been off of all medications for a few weeks now and hate the thought of putting more meds back into my system - but, I know this is temporary and hopefully the last part of recovery for me.

So, there you have it.  I'll post during recovery and let you know how things are progressing.  Until then - stay healthy and take good care of yourselves.

Just over a month since last chemo!

It's been just over a month since my last chemo.  I must say, I'm feeling pretty darned good.  My energy level has returned to almost normal and my stamina is much better.  We went for a walk yesterday that just two weeks ago I had to stop three times to catch my breath.  We made the walk yesterday with no stops and I felt fine...yay!  My muscles still hurt quite a bit though - but getting better.  Chemo really does a number on your muscles and it takes them quite a while to recover.  I am still very patiently waiting for some hair to sprout on my head.  Getting very tired of the bald look and very tired of wearing caps all of the time.  Patience...

The next step for me is the second phase of the reconstruction.  This surgery will take place on January 30th with about a 4 week recovery process.  I had tissue expanders put in at the time of my double mastectomy.  It is now time for the expanders to be removed and implants with some fat transfer to take their place.  I am not looking forward to another surgery and more down time - especially since I am just now feeling more myself.  But...it has to be done and I might as well get it over with.  Hopefully, this will be the last surgery that I will have to endure.

Fortunately, my hubby whisked me away to the Oregon coast for a few days in between chemo recovery and next surgery and it really revitalized me in many ways.  It was wonderful to have time away from recovery and cancer talk.  I don't think we really brought the subject up the entire time we were gone, except to talk about good nutrition choices as we were eating out a lot.  I felt alive and stress-free as we explored the coast, went for long walks and enjoyed the beautiful scenery.  I forgot how much I missed that place and it was good to go back.

Well, I'm off now for a healthy lunch and a nice hike to soak in the sun and fresh air.  Tomorrow, venturing into the big City for another day out before all of the pre-op festivities start next week.

Enjoy the weekend :)

Kids' video = happiness

Chemotherapy Overview

I thought I'd blog today with an outline of how the entire chemotherapy process went for me in hopes that the information may prove helpful to someone else going through the same thing.  I want to start by saying that everyone is different and the experience will also be different for everyone based on the drugs given and the duration of the treatments.  My chemotherapy drugs were Taxotere and Cytoxan and I was given infusions every 21 days for a total of 4 rounds.  I will not list or talk about the specific prescriptions that I was given to treat the side effects of chemo as again it will be different for everyone.  So here goes...

#1 -

• I felt fine until day 3 when I began to feel very tired and had a strange metal taste in my mouth.
• Days 4-8 my energy was very low, I experienced bone pain, dry mouth, stomach cramps and headaches.
• Days 9-10 the pain level began to become more tolerable and my energy was a bit better but my muscles began to feel very fatigued.
• Day 11 I was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection and was prescribed antibiotics.
• Days 12-15 headaches continued with an increase in fatigue and muscle aches.
• Days 16-21 my energy was better each day with less aches and pains.

#2 -

• I felt pretty good until day 3 when nausea, headaches, stomach cramps and low energy began.  This lasted and progressively got worse until day 13.
• Days 13-21 the symptoms progressively got better with energy increasing as each day passed with the exception of the muscle fatigue and some shortness of breath.
• During this chemo cycle I began to experience a lot of backache from too much lying and sitting as well as neuropathy in my fingers and toes.
• Hair loss - bald.

#3 -

• Day 1 lab work indicated that I was anemic (which explains the muscle fatigue and shortness of breath).  
• Day 4 the fatigue set in very hard - I literally had no energy. The neuropathy in fingers and toes became much worse. 
• Days 6-10 the bone pain was pretty bad along with headaches, mouth sores and extreme fatigue.  I began physical therapy for back pain.
• Days 11-21 the bone pain decreased, low energy remained along with large muscle fatigue.

#4 -

• Day 1 lab work indicated that the anemia had gotten significantly worse since #3.  The doctor put me on weekly injections to stimulate my red blood cell production.  I continued to have muscle fatigue, extremely low energy, nausea, stomach cramps, bone pain, headaches and back pain.  
• Day 4-6 I developed a high fever that we could not determine the cause of.  The doctor prescribed an antibiotic.
• This round brought a lot more insomnia and night sweats.  I began to feel more energy by day 14 and the muscle fatigue and energy levels have gotten better each day since.

Some overall symptoms that I experienced throughout the entire course of treatment were (and in some cases still are) insomnia, hot flashes and night sweats and being very emotional.  My appetite was only mildly disrupted when I had bouts of nausea but remained mostly intact.  I gained a total of 7 lbs. during treatments but have already lost 4 now that I am 3 weeks out from my last chemo.  The physical therapy has helped somewhat with the back pain and I am hopeful that as I get back into exercising and moving around more that it will get much better.  I began walking further distances and took a yoga class this week :)

Again, I post this as an overview for those curious about the process of chemo treatments.  I will post in the future as I progress and begin to move away from the side effects that still remain 3 weeks post treatments.  My next step in this journey will be the reconstruction which will take place in the next few weeks.

Touched by an angel...

You always hear about angels that roam the earth and make differences in people's lives.  Do we always know when we encounter such an angel?  It probably happens more often than we can imagine.
Today, Guy and I decided to take a drive to Monterey to have lunch and, of course, for me to get my ocean fix.  We had a lovely lunch overlooking the Bay and proceeded to walk around the cannery area.  The weather could not have been better - a typical 70 degree winter's day on the coast of California.  We walked a good distance up one end of the tourist area and then back in the other direction to end up at a beach cove area where there were some diver's just off of the coast.  We stopped there and stood for a moment looking out onto the water and the beach.  It was then that I noticed some nice benches to our left where we could sit and rest for a little bit.  There was a woman sitting alone on the first bench; I took notice of her but did not pay too much attention as we passed her by to sit on the bench to her left.  We sat for a while, taking in the sounds of the surf and watching divers and kayakers do their thing.  Very relaxing...

After a short time, the woman who was on the first bench walked over and stood in front of us stating that she hoped we didn't mind her coming over to talk to us.  She said that she could not help but notice my pink cap and wondered if I was either going through or just finished with chemotherapy.  I told her that I had just had my last chemo 2 weeks ago.  She shared with us that she had also been diagnosed with breast cancer and had gone through chemotherapy.  She proceeded to take my hand in hers as she looked me in the eye and said "you are going to be just fine. I want you to know that you are going to be fine".  I asked her how far out she was in her process and she replied that it has been 2-1/2 years for her.  She reassured me that my endurance and strength would return in a short amount of time and that yes, my hair would grow back just fine.  She said that by just looking at me she could tell that I had been in good physical shape before the cancer diagnosis as was she and that gave us "the edge" in good outcomes in recovery.  We shared with each other a bit more about our diagnosis, the surgeries we had, the reconstruction process and our chemotherapy journeys.  I asked her how she felt today and with a huge smile, she said that she felt great!

This lady was, I'm guessing to be in her early 60's.  She sported a natural grey short haircut which she proudly stated that she and her husband both loved (she had always worn her hair long before cancer and chemo left her bald).  She had lovely wrinkles on her face, a bit deep but very soft, which I have no doubt settled in from years of smiling and laughing and bright lively eyes.  The genuineness and warmth of her spirit flowed from her.  After a few minutes of exchanging experiences and her answering some of my questions, she went on her way.  As we said goodbye and as she walked away, tears started flowing from my eyes; I was overcome with emotion.

This person could simply have noticed my pink hat and wondered to herself whether or not I had cancer and went on her way.  But instead she took a moment from her day to come over to talk and provide me with comforting and reassuring words.  I tell myself every day that I have beat this and I will be fine.  Friends and family members tell me every day that they are so happy that I am going to be fine.  While trying to remain positive and believe these things is a daily practice, I am scared as hell inside - knowing what I just went through and terrified that it could happen again.  I believe that this lady having gone through all of this knew how scared a person is at the end of treatment, having experienced it herself - with all of the unanswered questions and worries about getting your life back.

It's possible that she walked away from our conversation, went on with her day and didn't think much of the impact that she had on another person's life.  For me, I thought of little else as the day went on and will remember her kindness always.  The experience seems such a small gesture on her part, but left me feeling that much more confident that yes, I am going to be fine.

I hope as I move forward through my journey that I too can make a positive difference and provide comfort to other's as a fellow survivor.  Moreover, I will endeavor when I notice someone who may need comfort that I will not just wonder and keep walking - that I too might take the time to stop and share words with that person, if only to say hello and exchange a pleasant smile.

Angels come to us in mysterious ways.  Or, perhaps they come to others through us.