Chemotherapy Round 3 so far hitting harder than the last two

I had round 3 of 4 chemo infusions this past Wednesday.  I was told this day that I am very anemic and although my blood pressure was good, my pulse was pretty high.  Went from 66 before 1st chemo to 89 at this one.  I typically don't feel the effects of the chemo for a day or two after the infusion, but this one hit me pretty hard the very next day.  I put in a full day yesterday with Thanksgiving festivities and all (which turned out to be an awesome day with my husband and kids), but today I am completely exhausted, nauseous and spent and will likely not be getting out of bed for most of the day.  My body is putting out the orders for today.

I was told early on that the fatigue compounds with each infusion and I am seeing that effect clearly now.  The neulasta shot to induce the bone marrow to produce white blood cells will take place Monday and the next wave of pain and other symptoms will come on a bit later than usual which will prolong this cycle a tad.  I'm am focusing on keeping my eye on the prize and getting through this cycle as there will only be one more to go.  Hard stuff, but doable and I will be much better off when this is said and done.

When I was in for the infusion on Wednesday, I had the pleasure to meet a woman who was there for her very first time.  She has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and was, as I remember at that time, reeling from all of the bad news and new information that she was receiving.  It felt really good to me to be able to talk her through some of her worries, answer questions for her and provide her with some information on resources that she can look into and use to help ease her mind and the process.  You get an overwhelming sense of panic and worry when you are first diagnosed and I really feel for those that ever have to go through this horrible process.  If I have a message to anyone out there, just know that the medical community has come such a far way with diagnosis and treatments and the rates of survivorship go up all of the time.  There are plenty of resources to help us through the process and most importantly positive thoughts, good spirits and surrounding yourselves with love and support are the best things that you can do.  You cannot and should not try to do it alone and should not be afraid to ask for assistance.  Be aware of good nutrition and exercise - with or without cancer it is necessary.  Good foods can fight and deter cancer and cancer cells don't thrive well with oxygen so exercise is essential.

My hope is that everyone enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and will continue on with good health and happiness.  Keep your families and friends close and stay away from negative energy.

Health and hugs to all!

Thanksgiving week and a lot to be thankful for...

It is easy to get lost in counting the days to the next chemo treatment and the miseries of the side effects that each treatment brings.  This disease really does bring you down to a day by day and sometimes minute by minute way of living as you really don't know how you will feel at any given time.

This, being Thanksgiving week brings me to reflecting on all of the great things in life and all that I have to be thankful for.

• I have the best family... parents, siblings, children, husband, in-laws and extended family (and two cats).  I am grateful every day for their love and support and just knowing that they are there for me and I for them.
• I am grateful for my best friends and co-workers who continue to keep me positive and provide support for me.
• I am thankful for all of the prayers and positive thoughts that are sent on my behalf.
• For having a roof over my head and being able to get by financially while off work as I continue treatment.
• For the kind and wonderful medical community who I have been working with and who continue to keep me in good care.
• I am thankful that I have a good job and health insurance and that my job will be there for me to go back to when I am finished with treatments.
• For the drugs, oh yes, the drugs that help me to manage the side effects of this awful chemotherapy.
• For all of the resources and people who volunteer their time and services to help those suffering with cancer and chemotherapy.
• For my sense of humor, for without it I would truly be lost.  
• For my good bone structure (thanks parents!) so that I can sport a bald head and still look good :)
• I am incredibly thankful that I noticed the tumors early enough so that they were able to be removed before spreading to other parts of my body.  
• I am thankful to be alive.

There are way too many things that I am thankful for to list - it would take forever.  I will endeavor to remain positive and thankful every day and only hope that I can repay all of those who have helped me through this in some way.  

I will be heading into Round 3 of chemo this next Wednesday and will then just have one more infusion to go on December 18th.  I am so looking forward to 2014!

I wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving full of love, family and friends.  

Chemo, the new "B" word!

Bone pain, bloated, bitchy, beyond annoyed...  Today is day 10 of my 2nd round of chemo and I think I am beginning to turn the corner on this one.  But...the bone pain continues to remind me that my body is under constant attack (I ache terribly all the way up my spine and into my head), the fatigue is letting up a bit, my stomach is bloated and very uncomfortable (yet to figure that one out) for days now, my patience level is in the negative numbers leaving me somewhat of an uneven temper - well just plain bitchy at times, and my legs sometimes feel like they are going to give out from under me for no apparent reason.

I am grateful that this time around I have not experienced the uncontrollable crying fits that I had last time.  I've traded crying for complaining this time.  But, like I said, I think I am turning the corner.  I feel that I will get more relief from these symptoms each day and I have 11 more days to enjoy before the next treatment.  I'd better get my attitude under control before my dear husband who calls me Sweetpea changes my name to Snapdragon!

I am not the most patient of persons and have found out that I am certainly not the most patient of patients.  I have 11 days to try to do better and then, no telling what will happen.  Thank goodness for a husband who is tough and will allow me to vent, knowing that while I aim everything at him because he is within ear shot, it's really not about him and he can and does take it well.  Strong shoulders and a solid heart are priceless at times like these.

When I texted my daughter a couple of days ago that I was as grouchy as a wildabeast.  She graciously offered to phone the next morning to make sure that Guy was still alive and well :)

It's Friday and I'm looking forward to a wonderful birthday weekend with Guy.  Surprises are just around the corner and lots to smile about.

Happy weekend everyone <3

Hair Loss! No Joke, they said it was coming...

Just like the doctors told me...the hair loss would begin by chemo session #2.  The hair is leaping off of my body like rats abandoning a sinking ship!  Now, in some regards it's o.k.  I can put those razors away for a while and have those nice silky legs with no cuts or nicks.  I prepared myself for the bald head a'coming by shaving it close to the scalp in preparation and that's no big deal.  But my eyebrows...wait!  I was still using them.  I've never been the best makeup artist and am not really fond of the drawn on look - holy @$%*!  I guess I'll just have to adjust to these changes, but jeez can I at least keep my eyelashes?  They are still in tact for the time being and I am quite fond of them.  Perhaps we can draw the line there.  We don't need mention other areas except to say that I feel sorry for all of the folks who spend lots of money on waxing - I get it for free!

The money I would normally pay for shampoo, conditioner and styling products is now being re-routed to copays for doctors and prescriptions.  This chemo stuff is no laughing matter.  There is something new at every turn.  Oh well, another adventure in life - never a dull moment and we can learn from every situation.  I am learning to listen to my mind and body, to be more tolerant and less judgmental of myself and my appearance.  I think sometimes we as humans spend way too much time focused on what's happening around us and what other's think of us that we don't benefit from getting to know our true selves and what really matters the most.

I am lucky, I am blessed with a wonderful family, the best children and husband, and the best friends a girl can ask for.  Sick or well, life is good and I am happy.

Second Round of Chemo - let the games begin!

Yesterday was round 2 of 4 of my chemo sessions.  I was so blessed to have both Guy and Rosie with me for support and company.  Everything went according to plan and pretty uneventful.  I had had a bad reaction with the Benadryl that they shot into me with the first round, so we were able to avoid that drug and I just took a Claritan tablet before the procedure which worked just fine.  Guy left after the meeting the with the doctor and I was settled into the infusion chair and that left Rosie and I to visit and go over wedding plans.  Great distraction and productive at the same time.

The nurses at the infusion center are awesome.  Whereas it usually takes 2 to 3 pokes every time to get IV's into me, they have been able to hit it the first time both times I have been there.  Makes a huge difference when you don't have to go through the multi-pokes which is historically a huge problem for me.

We were sitting there waiting for the IV drips to process for about 3 hours which went through the lunch hour.  At the end, the nurse said to Rosie and I..."you guys must be hungry and probably heading out for a bite to eat".  Of course, we had already made plans on where we were going to go and told her "yes, we are going to grab something as soon as we leave here".  To that she replied, "that sounds good, I just wouldn't recommend going out for any greasy mexican food or anything like that".  We smiled politely in acknowledgement.  In short time, we were in the jeep and heading down the road to El Burro, our favorite local mexican restaurant according to our original plan.  Stubborn and determined?  Maybe.  But we had a plan, the food was great (I took an anti-nausea pill preventatively) but did just fine.  Mind over matter :)  

Today is pretty good so far.  I will head back to the oncology center for my neulasta shot this afternoon and tomorrow is when all of the bone pain and fatigue will begin to take over for the next couple of weeks.  Here we go again....

Heading into Round 2

As I prepare to endure round 2 of chemo, I am reflecting on how the first round treated me.  It was a lot harder than I thought it would be but I did get through it.  There were days that I wondered if I would.  The last week was really pretty good and I even got a couple of days at the beach and felt normal for a little while.  This is what I need to focus on as I go into this next phase.  I need to remember that last week before the next infusion and that I will be able to go out and do things with more energy and enjoyment.  It's kind of like the most horrible job you can imagine and having a schedule of two weeks on and one week off.  Looking forward to that one week gets you through.

I think that I may have tried to fight the symptoms a little too hard the first time and plan to give in a bit with this round.  By that I mean taking it a bit more easy and not pushing myself as hard to try to feel normal when it simply is not possible.  Not rushing to go out and do too much until that first two weeks has run its course.  Although I do need to muster up the energy to do some exercise every day no matter what.  Working the toxins through and out of my body as fast as possible helps in the recovery process.

Every day I think of the millions of people who have to go through chemotherapy.  Most of them have much longer courses of treatment that I will have and my heart goes out to them.  Knowing how difficult it is on your body, your life and everyone around you, I am amazed by the strength and and perseverance of people who do get through this and I am honored to be among them.

So, today I will get out of the house - have lunch with a friend, do some shopping, accompany my husband to an open house this evening, followed by a class at the cancer center.  Good food, friends and sunshine is my recipe for a beautiful last day of round 1.