The good news is...your very fit with very little fat...The bad news is...

The good news is...  Interesting problem to have.  My reconstructive surgeon is going to attempt to utilize my own body fat to aid the reconstruction process.  While examining me for where he might harvest this fat, he commented on how little fat I harbor in my body. If they can just take that fatty bit on the insides of my knees that would be awesome!!!   Great, flattering news to hear unless you need lots of the material to fix a big problem.  Oh well, we'll see how this pans out.  The good news is that as a side effect of reconstruction I will trim up even more without working at it.  A big price to pay, but it is what it is...  I guess you have to look at the bright side no matter how small.

I have been eating lots - mostly out of nervousness and stress, but have still been keeping up my exercise to keep the stress at bay and it really does help.  I love my long walks and hikes and don't want to give them up to attempt to fatten up.   Guy says that he is going to fatten me up during the initial recovery and see if we can come up with a few pockets :)  Bring on those yummy milkshakes!

The bad news is...  The doctor called this afternoon with the results of the addendum to the pathology report.  It turns out I have what they call Triple Negative breast cancer.  This means that the cancer is negative for hormone receptors and will not respond to the hormone blocking drugs that are used in most breast cancer treatments.  The doctor informed me that this cancer is aggressive and fast growing but he again remarked that it is good that we caught it early.  He still seemed optimistic that I would probably not have to undergo radiation but could not say for certain.  Chemotherapy is a real possibility as this type of cancer is the more rare type and the most aggressive but we would have to wait to determine treatment until the results of the sentinal lymph nodes comes back.  I'm much more worried with this new news than I was yesterday.  Well, honestly freaked out - again.

I was told today that I would be in the hospital for between 2-4 days after the initial surgery.  When I told the nurse that I thought that I would be going home the same day, she remarked that this surgery was fairly complicated and would require a hospital stay.  I think it's finally beginning to set in.  I'm learning things like - a pain pump will be attached to my back during the entire surgery that will keep my upper torso numb during the procedures as well as for several hours afterwards; I will have several drains hanging out of me for several days after and will be very sore with limited mobility of my arms and upper body.  Argh!  It's real, and scary, and overwhelming.

Positive thought for the day...  The surgery will get the cancer out of my body - the lymph nodes will not test positive for cancer that has spread - I will be fine, I can do this.