Today marks one week since my first chemotherapy infusion (sounds like a spa treatment, huh?) Not!
I have never felt more tired in my life. The bone pain continues but I was able to steer clear of the pain meds during the day and just went for the Tylenol. Rest assured, I will be loading up on everything under the sun tonight so that I can sleep all the way through.
My body aches as though I have a bad flu. My energy level is at rock bottom. The stomach issues did resolve today which was a good thing and, I was able to eat more yesterday and today. Also, the allergic rash that I have been experiencing is getting a bit better with Benadryl and Hydrocortisone. I pray for some reprieve from this fatigue over the next couple of weeks so that I can be strong for the next chemo session.
What I realized today is that I am not really battling cancer - I am battling chemotherapy drugs. The drugs will win if I don't learn how to give in and treat each symptom as they come instead of pushing and fighting too hard. Little by little this stuff will work itself out with me as the by-product of whatever is to come. I just need to acknowledge how I feel and go with the flow. I wish my body would cooperate with what my mind tells me. Oh well...
I have become a very quiet person over the past couple of days. I'm so tired most of the time that I don't even want to talk. Guy talks to me and I mostly nod and grunt in return. It's a good thing he likes talking to himself anyway :)
So enough of all of that. Tomorrow will be better. We will be spending some time with two of my kids and are having a hair shaving party. It's time for the locks to come out and the hats to come on. I'm sure I'll have some fun pics to post tomorrow.
I don't talk to myself ... much.
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