Breathe. We start our lives with the act of breathing that will then take us through to the very end. When we are babies, we breathe deeply into the belly in a relaxed fashion. Somehow throughout the years we forget how to breathe in this easy, natural way and end up taking shallow breaths, and even holding our breaths for long periods of time when we are concentrating on work, for example.
I realized only a week or so ago, that it was difficult for me to take really deep, easy breaths. I had spent so many years holding my breath while at work, when stressed and just in general was taking more shallow breaths than deep healthy ones. I think a lot of us do this without realizing it. Especially those of us who tend to worry too much.
Now that I have a better awareness of my stress levels and the lack of breath, I find myself once again able to take those relaxed belly breaths which really helps me to release some of the muscle tension that I hold in my body. It seems so unnatural that one would even have to think about breathing, but I do.
Let go of stress and worry. This has been very hard for me. But I am learning. If I had to blame getting cancer on anything, it would be stress. It may or may not be the case, but I'd like to blame something. At work I stress, trying to accomplish every task very quickly and with perfection. There is nothing wrong with that, but the alternative of not treating every task as an emergency and easing through the project will not harm anyone. It will still get done and will be done without me holding my breath and being so tense about it. In life I tend to stress and worry about a lot of things. I am slowly learning to let things go. There is only so much you can control. What happened in the past should remain in the past. Living for today and focusing on the present allows me to get through each day without stress and worry. Worrying about the future does not make sense because we don't really know what the future holds as life and circumstances are ever changing. These are sometimes hard lessons to learn.
Being diagnosed with breast cancer and taking time away from work to undergo chemo treatments has given me time to reflect and learn a bit more about how I behave and react to things. I need to be more forgiving with myself, take better care of myself and try not to be all things to everybody else all of the time. Not to be selfish, but to have more awareness. We should all remember to breathe properly, let go of stress, laugh, eat well and exercise every day. I believe this is essential to good health.
Last chemo!. In two days I go in for my last chemo - hurray! The third one was very difficult and unlike the other two where I felt pretty good the last week before the next treatment - this week my energy level is still very low, I am suffering with extreme fatigue in my muscles which is a new symptom for me this time, pain in my ribs, extremely dry skin and insomnia. I am taking one day at a time with a positive mindset that I will feel better and trying not to worry that the next treatment will be worse. I have to remind myself what I said above, just focus on today and make each day a good one.
With that all said and done - muscle fatigue or not - I'd better strap on my tennis shoes and take this body out for a walk to breathe in some fresh air and get a little sun on my face while the day is still young. Practice what I preach :)
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