No more cancer! Tomorrow's the big day.

Bravery has its limits.  Since my diagnosis I have been brave, strong, ready to fight, prepared.  Well... until today.  It finally hit me - the stress peaked, reality hit hard and I melted.  All of the armor that I had been donning the past four weeks fell to the ground as the day progressed.

I am o.k. now, but the day was truly one big roller coaster ride for me.  In between meetings, chest x-rays, hospital admission interviews, talking to family members, there were lots of tears.  I guess I had been holding so much inside for these past weeks.  My poor husband had to bear my short temper and bad attitude on more than one occasion today - I feel terrible for lashing out at him, but he shouldered it well and understands the pressure that I'm under.

As I sit here now, I have a very interesting purple tattoo design all over my torso where today, one of my surgeons, (or as Guy calls them "cutters") created his markings for tomorrow's shindig.  The doctor today was so nice and understanding today.  As he escorted me into the exam room to draw on me, he made the mistake of asking me how I was doing.  Well, I'm embarrassed to say that the floodgates opened and he sat me down and pulled up a chair and said that we would sit there and talk until I felt better.  He listened, answered all of my questions and reassured me to the best of his ability.  And then proceeded to decorate me.  What a kind and wonderful person to be that understanding and patient.

I've been through my interviews with the anesthesiologist and just received a check-in call from my other surgeon.  The team is ready and confident that all will go smoothly.

Guy took me out to dinner tonight and got my spirits up a bit.  And, talking and corresponding with family and friends has lifted me even more.  I am so lucky to have such a loving family, the best friends and tons of love and support to help me through this.

Tomorrow, I just need to get through the pre-op procedures and nervous jitters.  Then, a nice long nap only to wake up with no more cancer.  NO MORE CANCER!!!

I have asked Guy to write tomorrow's blog for me to let everyone know how the surgery went.  Stay tuned...and thanks again so very much for all of your prayers.  <3

p.s.  Since I've been using my nutribullet and getting so many good fruits and veggies every day, my cute short haircut has been growing so fast.  Guy says that in this pic it looks like Mo from the 3 stooges - wise guy (Guy)!  Well, I might look like Mo now, but I'll be sporting the Curly look in a couple of months!